Many people will admit that they are attracted to someone’s personality first and physical appearance second. For others, this will be the other way around. But one thing which can’t be denied is that certain character traits are less appealing than others. Confidence and assertiveness are more likely to be seen as positive traits, but can be challenging to bring forth when anxiety is present.
So how can anxiety affect your ability to lead a trouble-free dating life? What are the signs that there’s an issue at all? Here are five of the most obvious signs anxiety is affecting your dating life.
Looking on the negative/pessimistic side
How do you approach dating, especially if you’ve taken advantage of the Internet option for meeting potential partners? Do you sign up to sites, confident you have every chance of connecting with someone worthwhile (such as on this website) given the sheer number of singles waiting to connect with you? Or do you find you are always anticipating the worst possible outcome, accepting that you are only going to come across unsuitable individuals who will string you along?
Another sure sign anxiety is affecting your dating life is when you decide against putting yourself in the position where a date might not turn out favourably. So you think of any excuse not to arrange a get-together, or when one is arranged, you cancel at the last minute.
So you’re sitting in a bar and a charming individual who has invited you here for a drink is engaging in pleasant, occasionally even flirtatious conversation. But instead of embracing the moment, you’re constantly fidgeting in your seat, easily distracted by whatever else is going on around you. You find it hard to join in the conversation, and even when you do, rather than appreciating compliments at face value you’re suspicious about ulterior motives.
New options pass you by
In order to make the most of the dating life, singles love to keep their options open until they really sense chemistry developing with someone. This will mean taking your time to assess the profiles of prospective partners on dating sites, right down to simply smiling pleasantly at the attractive person who has just served you coffee and added a freebie biscuit.
But when anxiety is taking over your judgment, you’ll swiftly flick through online descriptions, judging candidates superficially and not really taking in whether or not any of them have real potential. You’ll also fail to notice the little signs when someone is showing an interest in you in a real-life setting. In short, either deliberately or subconsciously, you are shutting yourself off from options.
Anxiety manifests physically
Your body will react to these traumatic feelings in various ways. When you indulge in smalltalk, your voice might quiver. You might break out in a sweat, and when you lift that glass during your get-together in a quiet bar, you’ll find it trembling in your grip.
In extreme cases, anxiety can lead to feelings of genuine illness. There might be hot and cold flushes, and your pulse will race, seemingly uncontrollably. When any of these symptoms occur, it is necessary to address them. Remember, anxiety is a state of mind which you can get around by applying appropriate remedies – which do not include drinking excessively. It’s best to start by learning some basic relaxation techniques to calm the nervous system. Breathing exercises are always beneficial, as they lower excessive cardiovascular activity, bringing your heart rate down towards a more normal level.
Guest Post By – Robert Oldman – I’m a professional online relationship consultant. My main goal is to enable strangers to find and introduce themselves to new personal connections over the internet.