“If I Shut Myself Off From The World, Leaving This Planet One Day Will Be That Much Easier I Thought, As Anxiety Overload Took Over “
Imagine living each day of your life never truly being in touch with anything in your surroundings, and emotionally numb due to anxiety overload. This was my experience for quite some time because of my new found mindset that avoided pleasure of any kind. I thought happiness, joy, and recovery from anxiety would result in disappointment anyway, so why bother. A sad and futile existence to say the least.
The fear of dying was around every corner
My perceptions were turned towards the pessimistic side of everything, I felt safe and comforted. A dead man walking you could say based around years of anxiety overload. Throughout the years I went from one disappointment to the next, never really understanding why god, source energy, the universe was putting me through this.
Little did I realize at the time that deep within my soul there was a self punishment and inferiority program running non-stop. Programs within the subconscious mind that needed to be fulfilled. They kept me inferior to everyone else, sabotaging any good that ever came my way, as well as fulfilling the calling related to living with some type of pain no matter what.
The greatest goal achieving agency which is the subconscious mind runs our realities
It will always overlap the desires of the conscious mind. Which makes no real sense of you think about it. Wouldn’t this inner system want to see the good in things and move through life happy and healthy? It simply doesn’t know what those things mean though. All it knows is to fulfill the installed information that was provided by mom and dad during conception to 4 years of age.
In today’s powerful episode of the anxiety guy podcast I’ll be sharing:
- Why I never allowed myself pleasurable feelings due to anxiety overload
- How anxiety changed my interpretations over life completely
- What needs were being met by staying pessimistic, numb, and sad
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